The clock is ticking! Only a week to go before my big trip to Stanford on April 15. I’ve pretty much have everything done including far too many different lists that I’m constantly updating: meds to take in a heap of pill boxes; what to put in one of 5 duffel bags/suitcases; directions for watering my houseplants and feeding the koi; a list of where particular files, manuals and other documents are in my house; emergency contacts; what I need to do around the house and garden just before leaving. I guess all this organizing channels my anxiety.

I had a long and productive pow-wow with Polly and Eva who will be my caregivers before and after my hospitalization. We reviewed plans for the stay as well as covering various To-Do items from Advanced Care Directives to passwords. They are required to stay with me 24/7 at a nearby Marriott extended-stay hotel whenever I'm not in the hospital or getting treatments at the Stanford clinic. My cousin Carol has stayed in similar Marriott accommodations for her job and vacations and had good things to say about the experience. We'll be staying in a two bedroom with a kitchen that includes a refrigerator, stove and some cooking utensils.

Karla is organizing some of my local friends to prepare dishes that she can drop off for me while I recuperate. We also have the option of ordering room service or one of the restaurant delivery services which the Carvykti folks (who are doing the bioengineering of my T-cells) will cover. Although I usually have a great appetite, between the new cancer meds I'll be on and the CAR-T infusion, the folks at Stanford tell me that it’s hard to predict whether I’ll have any appetite or what I’ll feel like eating. Karla will be the point person for food contributions, and coordinate getting foods to Palo Alto as well as when I come home towards the end of May. She'll keep tabs on me and let local friends know if and what I’m up for eating.

As far as eating when feeling nauseous or worse, I remember a lot of trial and error back in 2017-18 when I had my stem cell transplant. I also learned a lot from Tim as he tried to navigate what he could eat. Having a half of a marijuana cookie helped his appetite which was surprising since he had always hated marijuana – the smoke as well as the effects. Somehow, eating a half-cookie was much more palatable and effective. He would always say that, although it made him feel sideways, he appreciated getting the munchies. My docs have approved my using these cookies and I'll be taking a supply with me. These days, I’m trying to eat as much as I can, but I've lost 25+ pounds over the last couple months. I'm trying to keep up my strength by walks and occasional water aerobics (when it's not cold and rainy).

For those of you who want a challenge… I want to find another word/phrase for “journey.” As in, "I’m on this incredible cancer journey." Ugh. Tim went ballistic every time he heard the term “journey.” I’m also not a fan. It’s hard to explain why that term is so irksome in this context. I’ve tried using “adventure,” but that makes it seem like I'm going on an organized safari. I did a few Google searches, but nothing jumped out. Maybe thinking outside the box and coming up with a word or term that heretofore hasn’t been used in a medical context. Maybe a word from another language. That'll keep folks guessing: “He’s on a what?!”

Just for fun, something non-medical. Thanks to my good friend Jill who is a UChicago classmate for keeping me in the loop about various alumni magazines that have included and even featured some of my film posters way way back when I was a student and involved in DocFilms. The latest issue of UChicago's CORE magazine has a few of my posters including one on the front cover. Their choices seem a bit odd to me, but what the heck! Besides the cover and first page, scroll down if you want to see more.

https://mag.uchicago.edu/sites/default/files/2023-02/TheCoreWinter23.pdf

I'm so appreciative of my friends near and far who keep me in their thoughts and prayers. The attached photos are from my garden today. The fragrant azaleas are just starting to bloom. The yellow and orange azaleas bloom before the red and pink ones. I’ll likely miss the reds and pinks this time around.

Yesterday, my oncologist let me know that my latest lab results showed that the cancer drugs I've been on aren't working and the disease is worsening. He's glad I'm going off to Stanford for the CAR-T procedure. For now, that's probably my only option.

I may try for one more blog before I leave on April 15. Otherwise, I'll have my phone, laptop and Internet capacity. I should be able to keep in touch, but if all else fails, either Polly or Eva will be with me and can answer for me if I'm not able.

Top to bottom: Back garden including a Red Dogwood just coming into bloom, tulips & geraniums, Exbury Azalea, "Bumblebee"Primula, and a Euphorbia millii.